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The Fearless Leader

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maybe I came back [21 May 2014|04:20am]

well I'm still here, a lot has gone in my life but I'm happy finally. for those of you know me it was a long road to find happy but i found it and we have a son who is starting kindergarten this year. He is so smart, pbs does a lot for kids. they really do learn a lot especially if they are not willing to learn what you wanna teach them.  as for me personally I learned I can cook, so that's my dream. I have come to the conclusion my dream will only be in my kitchen but at least on. holidays I can make different food for others to try since my family is so picky.


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[09 Feb 2009|08:37am]
Wow its been so long since I been on here... I think I forgot about LJ for a little while until a friend msged me asking me to add her again. I will do a full update later.
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[02 May 2007|04:34pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Wow its been a long while since I posted in here. Lets see whats been going on with me. I dropped out of ITT Tech and in the process of enrolling in Washtenaw Community College for Criminal Justice. I can further my education too in being an FBI profiler, I can take the necessary courses and get the necessary degrees through them, and I can also transfer to Eastern Michigan as well after a couple of years. Oh and the bigger news, TJ and I are getting married. We decided that 8-8-08 was the day. My ring is so pretty, if I knew how to put pics on here I would post the pic of my ring. Its white gold, with 2 little heart shaped sapphires, and 3 little diamonds on each side of the sapphires. Im still working at the same place making stupid little sunvisors for the Honda Civic. I need a new job so bad. My hands arent doing so well, I was suppose to go for my EMG a couple of weeks ago, but I had to work on the Saturday I was suppose to go, and I havent been able to reschedule the appointment. I have a feeling they are going to tell me I need surgery to correct my carpel tunnel. I suppose if I do then I want to have it all done before I get married, I dont want to be walking down the isle with a cast on either arm. We want to get married on the lake, and found a really nice place up near Traverse City, but are looking into other places as well.
Well I guess thats all for me. Hope you all are doing well.

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[20 Jan 2007|11:38pm]
is it just me or is Simon's teeth just a little more white than usual?
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[22 Dec 2006|07:07pm]
Wow I wasnt sure if I still had a LJ. Its been a while, so I thought I would update. I have 10 days off work, which will be nice and a good rest for my hands. I thought I was going to die in pain today. I had to get a brace for my left hand from a friend who has tendonitis. Thank god he had his braces with him because I was going to die. I wanted to cry, but I was surely not going to the clinic the last day of work. This carpel tunnel is a bitch. The pain is getting more frequent and I am waking up in the middle of the night in pain. Oh well, I suppose I will take this week and go to the docs and see what my options are.

I cant believe Christmas is only 3 days away. It just doesnt seem like Christmas to me, although that could be because we have had little to no snow. All we have had is rain.

School is going good. My Comp instructor screwed up my 4.0 so now I have to work extra hard to bring my 3.8 back up.

I am really addicted to the Daughtry cd... I loved Chris when he was on American Idol, and his cd is just awesome. I hate to say it but its better than Bo's.

Well not much has been going on with me... so all of you have a Merry Christmas and for the politically correct people have a happy holidays.
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[22 Aug 2006|07:30pm]
Bored Now!!
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[20 Aug 2006|01:43pm]
Not much has been going on with me. I finished my online class on Friday. Now I just wait to see what I got on the final. I wrote it in an hour in class, and didnt really do much thinking about it... oops. My instructor was a ditz anyways. She was just basically looking for english mistakes and looking to make sure you cited 3 references. I dont have a final in my Problem Solving (math) class. We did a "midterm" and that was like our final, but our teacher left to go to homeland security, so we have this crazy teacher now that cant understand why we dont have a final. Thank god we only have him for another week. I have a hard time understanding him, he is foreign and talks with a think accent and he talks a mile a minute. Hopefully he doesnt make us take his final otherwise we will all be lost. I found out last week that my Criminal Justice instructor knows my uncle who is a Clinton Township detective. I guess he knows him really well. I thought it was pretty cool. I have to take Comp next semester, so I am hoping that I can pass the test out which I dont think I will have a problem doing. Its just a 6 page paper on anything you want and it has to be APA style. Im really good at writing papers so I dont think I will have a problem. I am loving being in school again. I am still passing all my classes with straight A's. My final for my Criminal Justice class is writing about a tv show or movie that has to do with the Criminal Justice system. I wanted to write about Prison Break, but it doesnt show enough of the prison guards for me to write about it. So I chose Numb3rs to write about. I thought about doing Criminal Minds since I want to do the psychology part of Criminal Justice, but its too detailed. I should have choosen Oz. That show touched on all aspects of prison life, the guards and the prisoners. I wonder if I can change shows.... hmmm maybe I can email my instructor and ask.

Work is going ok. I got out of sewing. I hated it. So now I am floating between going to a line and sewing. Which isnt too bad, I dont have to sew everyday and deal with a machine that was put together half assed and fixtures that were put together half assed just to get this line going. I hate how they do that shit... they put shit together half assed and dont expect high volume of shipments when they know that Honda has high volume shipments everyday. Honda wants about a 1000 parts a day and of course they dont think about that shit and half ass do shit. The sewing machine I was on was constantly breaking... I would get on a roll making parts and it would take a shit on me. It would either come unthreaded, or it wouldnt catch the bobbin thread, and thats a pain in the ass since I have to rethread the machine myself, and rethread the bobbin every 5 minutes, which causes down time for me and they dont like down time. Well if they would fix the machine so I wouldnt have to do that then I would be good to go. God I need a new job. I talked with my Criminal Justice instructor on Tuesday about where a good place to start in the field is.. and he told me to try my hand in dispatching. They make good money and I will get my foot in the door. He told me that most departments will hire someone that is going to school for Criminal Justice and has good speaking and typing skills. So I have been looking for a dispatching position, but in the mean time printing out applications for local police departments to appy for dispatching.

TJ has been getting job offers in computers left and right. A company that is part of Dell wants him and keeps calling him. I wish I could get the offers he has been getting. He turned down the company because its not what he wants to do. He likes being a tech and it was just installing pieces into mostly laptops. He likes the actual fixing computers, like the software part of it. He likes figuring out the problems without having someone already figuring them out and all he has to do is go install something. Plus he didnt like that he would have to drive his own vehicle to job sites. He got gas reinburstment but it was anything over 30 miles. He got his cocky attitude back about computers too. He has told the manager of the geek squad that he was the best tech in the store, and I think the manager is finally realizing what they have in him and they dont want to lose him.

Sami is starting school late this year. They usually start at the end of August, but they are starting after Labor Day this year. Which is probably best since they start school and a couple days later they are off again for Labor Day vacation. I like how they send the school supply list too with the information on the school year. So I can go get her supplies ahead of time instead of waiting on a list to make sure she has everything she is going to need. I cant believe she is in the 2nd grade already. It seems like she just started Kindergarten. The time is just flying by.

Thats about all folks... have a good day
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HEY!! [05 Aug 2006|10:50pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Wow its been so long since I made a real post in this journal. I am really happy to be back in school. I am loving it so much. I am getting straight A's this semester. Im still not sure what I want to do after I get my degree in Criminal Justice. Im not sure if I want to go to a community college and pursue my psychology major so I can play in the mind of psycho people or if I just want to find something that I can do with a degree in Criminal Justice. I have tons of options with this degree. I got my laptop the other day. I got it through school, they were able to incorporate it in my financial aid which was awesome. Dude I got a Dell.

I really want a new job. I am really beginning to loathe going to work everyday. I dont want to wake up in the morning anymore and hate going to work. I have never done that before. I use to love my jobs but this one is getting worse by the day. Im sick of doing the samething day in and day out and working with the same people all everyday. I been on the same line for 9 months and one of the women on the line with me who we call miss know it all are fighting all the time. She thinks she knows everything and has a tendency to tell people they are wrong all the time when they are right. She never believes us when we tell her something that has to do with the job, even when she sees things with her own two eyes. I want a job with A/C. I never knew a human could sweat that bad until this summer.

I can't believe my daughter is going to be in 2nd grade already. It seems like she was just in kindergarten. She is really growing up.

Well I think thats all folks... hope everyone is doing well.

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[28 Jul 2006|03:29am]
1.Where did you take your default
Cant remember what my icon is

2.What exactly are you wearing right now?

3.What is your current problem?
if you want to know I am uzigirl666 on greatest journal... otherwise I dont want to talk about it

4.What makes you most happy?
My daughter, my boyfriend, and friends

5.What's the name of the song that you're listening to
Smashing Pumpkins Greatest Hits, Disarm

6.Any celeb you would marry?
Jet LI

7.Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Nobody I know (july 28th)

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
I cant sing to save my life, but put enough liquor in my system and I will sing

9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yeah, Punky Brewster

10. Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?

11.Do you speak any other languages?

12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
My grandfather

13. Do you ever watch MTV?
Punk'd and Pimp my Ride is the shit

14.What's something that really annoys you?
know it alls

Chapter 1:

1. Middle name:
must I tell you?


3.Current location:
drinking beer in front of my computer

4. Eye color:

Chapter 2:

1.Do you live with your parents:

2.Do you get along with your parent(s):
when they want something

3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced:

4.Do you have any Siblings?:
1 brother

Chapter 3: Favorites

1.IceCream: Chocolate chip cookie dough


coconut suave

Chapter 4: Do You..

1.Dance in the shower:

2.Write on your hand:

3.Call people back:

4.Believe in love:

5.Sleep on a certain side of the bed:
No, I sleep where I fall asleep and my boyfriend moves me for room

6. Any bad habits:
Smoking and Drinking... Hi my name is dieselhead and im an alocholic

Chapter 5: Have You..

1.Broken a bone?:
Yep, my ankle and finger

2.Sprained stuff?:
Yep, too much to name

3.Had physical therapy?:

4.Been to rehab?:

5.Taken painkillers?:
Yes, vicodin, vicodin is my friend

6.Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling:
No but I really want to

7.Been stung by a bee:
8.Thrown up at the dentist:

9.Sworn in front of your parents:

10.Had detention:
11.Been sent to the principal's office:

Chaper 6: Who/What was the last:

1.Movie(s) you saw:
Harry Potter 4, Clerks 2, Stay Alive, Cars, and seeing Miami Vice
2.Person to text you?:

3.Person to call you:
I dont get phone calls

4.Person who hugged you?

5.Thing you touched:
Keyboard since TJ is passed out and Sami is gone

6.Thing you ate:

7.Thing you drank:

8.Friends you consider really close to you:
Stella, Jason and Kelly

9.Friends you miss the most that have moved:
does Kelly count even though she hasnt moved out of state yet?
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[03 Jan 2006|11:05pm]
Christmas was great this year. I got to spend the day with TJ and his family along with Sami. He picked me up on Friday and we came back on Sunday to get Sami and spend a couple hours here so she could open her gifts (she loved everything) and we ate some food with my parents and went back to his house. We opened gifts at his house and ate more food and played with the toys the children got. My parents actually got me something for Christmas this year. They got me the Harry Potter Scene It game and the Bo Bice cd. TJ got me a printer and some Harry Potter books. His family got me a bunch of girly stuff which was cool because I was just about out of everything they got me.

Sami and I spent the next few days at his house and I went to pick up my paycheck on Thursday and dropped her at Jeff's house, and then went back to his house for the rest of the week. We got a hotel room for new years and it was fun, except for the fighting we did for a couple of hours of stupid shit.

I came home on Sunday and went to work on Monday.

So I get picked up from work today and my mother informs me that I need to find a babysitter for Sami on Thursday because she is working the day shift and my dad has to work too and so everyone I know has to work except for TJ so I asked him to babysit for me and he said he would and then I go tell my mother and then my dad tells me that he is going to see if he can just get the day off. Im really fucking pissed off. Just a month longer and then I should be out of here. Which I cant wait, things are just getting worse by the day.

Well thats all folks, I hope everyone had a merry christmas and a happy fucking new year.
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[14 Nov 2005|05:27pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

I still havent got the phone call from Jason saying his wife is having the baby. She needs to have that baby already.

Work has been going good. Im on a new line and have been now for about a week. The woman who runs the machine bugs the shit out of me. Every other word out of her mouth is "a." Shes canadian. And she wants you to stop doing what you are doing and get her shit for her because she doesnt want to get her stuff when its time to move on to other visors. I want to go back to my old line.

TJ and I ended up getting a hotel room on Saturday night because my parents are assholes and wouldnt let him stay the night even though Sami was having a sleep over at her friends house. I asked them on Thursday and they never gave me a straight answer, and then when he was on his way out on Saturday and the bitch was at work my dad said oh by the way your mother said no he cant stay. I was like what the fuck, and he said because she has to work in the morning on Sunday. All we wanted to do was spend some time together without one of us having to work the next day. Then my dad proceeds to tell me that its wrong for me and TJ to be sleeping in the same bed. And I was already pissed as it was, and I told him that my mother was full of shit she didnt have to work in the morning, and how I got up and went to work at 5 in the morning on Saturday. Im so sick of the bitch. The world does not revolve around her like she thinks it does.

Anyway we had fun. We didnt have to worry about being quiet or worry about parents or worry about anything... it was just us. We had a jaccuzi in our room too. It felt so good to just sit in there and relax. We watched 40 year old virgin, and that movie was sooooo funny. I thought it was going to be cheezy but it was really funny. We ended up getting some beer and a 5th of bacardi. Pieces of the night are a blur, but I remember other pieces just not exactly where they fit. I know we went to the pool at separate times of the night and went swimming. And we went to the pool together just to see what it looked like. And it was a pool.

When we got back to my house on Sunday to watch some football, guess who was sitting on the couch looking pissed off... you got it, my bitch of a mother. She didnt say a word to me when I came in the door. I wanted to say something to her but I just kept my mouth shut. I didnt want her to kick TJ out.

Well I think thats all folks.

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stolen [27 Oct 2005|10:59pm]
I know very little about some of the people on my friends' list. Some people I know relatively well. Some of you I hardly know at all. Perhaps you lurk, for whatever reason. But you befriended me and I thank you. But here's a thought: why not take this opportunity to tell me a little something about yourself. Any old thing at all. Just so the next time I see your name I can say: "Ah, there's so and so...she likes...or she wants to be..." I'd love it if every single person who befriended me would do this. Yes, even you people who I know really well. Then post this in your own journal.
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[27 Oct 2005|03:47pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Your Livejournal Blind Date
LJ Username
Favorite Color
What you are wearing
Oh look! Your blind date is vortexslider
Your date is wearing tin foil
You dine on stale crackers and Laffy Taffy
Then you spend the next three hours fighting over who was the best captain on Star Trek
Before taking you home, your date gives you hours and hours of hot sweaty sex
This makes you feel embarrassed
This cool quiz by sarcasticka - Taken 100284 Times.
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

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[24 Oct 2005|04:45pm]
So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind how great you are.

I got a jobby job :D:D:D
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[11 Oct 2005|11:34pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I hate feeling like I am worthless. I feel like I just want to cry. This house is getting to me horribly. I feel like I am 16 again living in this house. I cant take it anymore. I am so afraid to apply for a job because Im afraid I wont be able to go to the interview, or I will be able to go to the interview but the bitch I call mother will make up excuses as to why I cant take the job. I feel like all the good in me is being sucked away. Like I shouldnt be the way that I am. I worked so hard all my life not to be like them... and they make me feel like I am wrong for being the way that I am. Not like them.

I remember how I use to stay happy living here, but I dont want to resort to it again, however I am not above doing it again just to feel some sort of happy and not to be afraid to do anything anymore.

They say that TJ isnt a man because he isnt doing what Jeff did to get me and Sami out if this house. They hate TJ because he stood up to them. They didnt like Jeff because he stood up to them. They didnt like anyone I have ever dated. No Im sorry they liked 1 person I dated, and that was it. He was kinda like how Rick was with Judy.

I dont want to burden anyone with my inner feelings of this. I know everyone knows I am unhappy here, but only a select few actually know what this house did to me. So I do the only thing I can and put the fake smile on my face for the public and act as if nothing is wrong. I use to be good at that, and I think I am starting to be good at it again.

I will be so glad when I am out of here and I dont have to have anything to do with these people ever again. I can go on with my life and when people ask me about my parents I can say I have no parents anymore, and I can make up a story about how they died horrible deaths. However, I might have to keep some contact with them for Sami, if she asks to see them. But only if she asks to see them.

Its pretty sad when I cant even refer to them as my parents anymore, I refer to them as those people or my mother as bitch and my father as asshole.

If someone doesnt hire me soon, I think I am slowly going to deteriorate and lose any spec of happy I have left in me.

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[10 Oct 2005|03:04pm]
Argh!! I think I finally fell asleep last night around 3... I should have went upstairs and get some orange juice and hit the pint I have of a 100 proof vodka sitting under my bed. When I did fall asleep I had a fucked up dream... Jason, Stella, Angie, TJ and myself were all power rangers and we had to defeat Lord Zed, and when we went to fight him we ended up in Sears fighting him. We had got to fighting and the alarm went off to get up and get Sami ready for school. I sat up after waking up for a minute and was like what the fuck.

Last night our garbage disposal went out and I got bitched at for it because Sami was making "soup" and my dad had dumped out the concoction she had in a bowl and well apparently she had some change in the bowl and it fell down the garbage disposal. Well I stuck my hand down there and got all the change out, and turned it on and it didnt want to work, so I got in trouble because she had change in the bowl. So now they expect me to help them pay for a new one since my daughter broke it. Im just wondering how she broke it... I got all the change out, and it wasnt turned on before all the change was out. Oh well, they arent getting shit from me.

So I have to have this talk with Sami's father. She is broken because he doesnt spend time with her when he has her. He leaves her at his parents house and goes to see her for a couple of hours and then leaves and doesnt see her for the rest of the weekend, unless its to bring her home, and thats only if he doesnt have the Lion's game to go to. So Sami voiced this to me and she said she is really hurt that he doesnt spend time with her, and she wants to stay at the apartment with him instead of staying at her grandmas house. I am not looking forward to this discussion with him. He cant take it when someone tells him he is doing something wrong.

I had the talk with him not too long ago since he wants her for this weekend too and he swears he spends time with her. He uses his hours of afternoons as an excuse on why he cant spend too much time with her. I understand the Friday nights since he doesnt get home till 1 in the morning but on Saturdays why cant he stay the night at his parents house and wake up with her and make her breakfast and then spend some time with her, and take her somewhere. He swears he does that, but she says he doesnt. I dont know what I am suppose to do, I had the discussion with him about it and he just made excuses.

Well I think I am done for now...
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[10 Oct 2005|01:07am]
[ mood | tired ]

Its 1 in the morning and I am tired but I cant sleep. someone knock me out now please, but make sure I can hear my alarm in the morning so I can get up with my kid and get her ready for school.

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[03 Oct 2005|01:45pm]
[ mood | Livid ]

I got an interview today at 4 with Circuit City. But guess what? I cant go to it. Its in Novi and my bitch of a mother said that I cant go to it because its too far for me to go to work. Its 20 minutes away from my house. She told me that if I wanted to work in retail then I should go to Meijers and I told her no because the pay is shitty. Then she proceeds to tell me to find a company I can work from home. How the fuck am I suppose to do the shit they expect of me without a job? This is the first place that has called me back after all the 20 applications I have filled out and all of the 40 places I have sent my resume to. I have a good shot at getting a job since they are starting to hire for the holiday season and the bitch sabotoges it. My dad told me to go to the interview and see what hours I will be working, and my mother started to make excuses as to why I cant go.

She doesnt want to stand at the front door for 10 minutes and watch my daughter at the bus stop because it interferes with her life... it interferes with her getting on the fucking computer to play whatever game she is playing that day.

She wants me out of her fucking house and she wants my car fixed but how the fuck am I suppose to do this shit without a job? And yet they want 50 bucks out of me every week to live here. So she can have more money to go shopping with. It was ironic yesterday, it was their anniversary and they said they were going out for dinner for it, and then in the same sentence they asked me for the 50 bucks. My reaction was WHAT THE FUCK!!! I ignored it and came back in the basement and hid for the rest of the day until they left.

I know its wrong to have deep hatred for one of both of your parents, but I have had this deep hatred for my mother for years... just the other day she made breakfast for everyone and my brother went outside to eat and Sami and I ate at the table and when she was finished she wanted to go outside and jump on her trampoline and my brother got pissed at her for being outside, and I told him to just leave her go, and she wasnt bothering him and when he wouldnt listen to me, I asked my mother to do something about it and she said well there is nothing I can do if he doesnt want her out there while he is eating, she can come in until he is finished, because she doesnt want the football on the trampoline so why should she get her way and be able to stay outside. That pissed me off, and we got into this fight about it. Its always been about my brother, well Mike needs this and Mike needs that. Christmas time last year, they went out and bought my brother a game cube and gave me and Sami 20 bucks and said go buy yourself something, didnt even put it in a card or anything. Sami got nothing from them. That pissed me off too, I dont care about myself, they could have at least got her something. She is their granddaughter. Everything has always been about my brother.


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Why wont they leave me alone? [28 Sep 2005|02:59pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Well its becomming more apparent to me that my parents really want me and sami out of their house. They keep asking people at their places of employment how I can go about getting into a low income apartment. An apartment that will be based solely on what I get in child support. So my mother hands me this piece of paper and tells me she wrote down all the information that I need to call and get set up to be placed in this low income apartment complex.

Here is my problem... I dont trust places like that. In the other low income places around here there are a lot of drugs around them. I dont want my daughter exposed to shit like that. She is too young. Also I dont think I would feel safe living alone with my daughter in a place like that. Its not to say that the community isnt safe, but people have no respect anymore and they dont care about the people around them anymore. I couldnt ask TJ to move in either with us because he would have to drive an hour to work everyday and im sure thats not something he wants to do.

When I find a place of my own and if Sami and I have to live on our own for a little bit before TJ and I find somewhere we both can agree on I want to feel safe. It seems as if my parents are blind to the fact that I am trying to look out for our best interest. I would prefer to have a job before moving out again so I know that I can properly support us. They dont seem to care weather I feel safe or anything they just want us out of the house.

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[28 Sep 2005|02:39pm]
[A is for age:] 27
[B is for booze of choice:] either Captain Morgan or Vodka
[C is for career:] *cries* I want a job and nobody will hire me
[D is for your dad's name:] Alan
[E is for essential items to bring to a party:] Liquor
[F is for favorite song at the moment:] Change by Deftones
[G is for favorite game:] Mortal Kombat
[H is for hometown:] Im living in Michigan
[I is for instruments you play:] I was a band geek, and played the clarinet, and can honestly say and this one time at band camp.
[J is for jam or jelly you like:] Welchs grape jelly
[K is for kids?] Just one beautiful little girl
[L is for living arrangements:] living with the horrible people I call my parents.
[M is for mom's name:] Bitch
[N is for name of your crush:] TJ
[O is for overnight hospital stays:] I had to stay over night when I had my daughter and had to stay over night to have my gall bladder out.
[P is for phobias:] Spiders, and needles
[Q is for quotes you like:] "If I had a dick this is where I would tell you to suck it"
[R is for relationship that lasted the longest] Jeff, lasted 7 years
[S is for sexual preference:] I LOVE THE COCK
[T is for time you wake up:] Between 7 and 7:30 to get my daughter off to school and then go back to bed for a couple of hours
[U is for underwear:] Liza and I once took Jason underwear shopping, but it was coming to him because I went boxer shopping with him countless times.. and he couldnt understand why women have different types of underwear, and he couldnt understand why women would wear underwear that didnt cover their asses.
[V is for vegetable you love:] Cucumbers
[W is for worst habit:] procrastination
[X is for x-rays you've had:] chest, stomach, ankle, foot, hand, fingers, wrist, I think I have had just about every part of my skeletal system x rayed before.
[Y is for yummy food you make:] Its going to sound really gross and im not sure how it got its name, but I make this "steak shit" thats really yummy.
[Z is for zodiac sign:] Leo
Comments: 2 // <http://www.nofx.com/user/goldengal/bullets_stars_blgr_001.gif> ?!

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